Questions to ask before you open your mouth

photo by patrick dentler

I am teaching at Four14 this Thursday so I am providing some bonus material here on my blog addressing how to cultivate great relationships by implementing six principles of biblical communication into your life.

The first principle is speak the truth in love. In Ephesians 4:15, the phrase, "speak the truth in love," stands as a command. It is in the imperative tense. Speak! So silence and clamming up are not options for the Christ-follower. It is unbiblical to keep things locked up inside you. No one can read your mind (read I Corinthians 2:11). So, your responsibility as a Christ-follower is to speak truth lovingly. But first, it is to speak--don't clam up.

Since the Christ-followere is to speak. Here are the questions to ask before you speak:

• Is what I would like to say true? (Ephesians 4:25)



• Is what I would like to say profitable? (Ephesians 4:29)



• Is this the proper time to say it, or should I wait? (Proverbs 15:23, 28)



• Is my attitude right? (Ephesians 4:31-32)



• Am I saying this in the right way? (Proverbs 15:1)



• Is what I would like to say necessary for the good of the other? (Ephesians 4:29)



• Is what I would like to say pleasing to God? (Psalm 19:14)

Please check out the Bible verses after each question to read how the question emerges from the Biblical data. Before you speak, ask yourself these questions. Your communication will be greatly improved if you implement these into your relationship skill set.

You will discover great relationships as you work these into your life. You will have to work hard at it. Great relationships are not formulaic, but dynamic. So work hard at implemting these biblical principles into your life. Share what you are trying to do with your life-group or a trusted friend so that you can leverage accountability and glean from the support of others.

Please let me know of an incident or incidents in which you had an opportunity to use one of the rules. Share what happened, what you did, and how you applied (or should have applied) one or more of the rules. Be sure to state which rule or rules were applicable.